Looking For A Guru To Help Change Your Life? Get A Mirror Instead.
If you think the world, politicians, political party in power, governments, circumstances, job market, luck, or other people in your life, are responsible for where you are in life you have given up control of your life to them. You are blaming someone or something else for where you are, or where you are not.
Ask any self-help, productivity mentor, or coach and they’ll tell you the same.
Abdicating your responsibility can be comforting. It takes away the responsibility for any decisions you made, or didn’t make. For instance, not getting ahead wasn’t caused by you sitting on your behind relaxing, instead of doing the hard thing like working and grinding it out.
Victims blame, this was done to them. Life isn’t fair.
Playing victim displays lack of clarity, for the hard work needed to progress. Let me ask you a question, what professional victim do you know that has achieved a high level of success? If you know of one, tell me, because I don’t. So as a rule of thumb, we can state, victims don’t succeed. Playing a victim is counterproductive to success.
The next question, how much of your life are you responsible for? That’s an easy answer, one hundred percent.
Accept responsibility for all the shiitake in your life.
Flip over any blame game you’re playing, assume you are responsible for every bit of shiitake that exists in your life today. Take the time necessary, through introspection and determine how your actions and reactions created the circumstance where you currently find yourself. Yes, you can go back years. Yes, bad things happened to you. Remember bad things happen to everyone. Even the Kings and Queens of England. It’s your reaction to these negative events that help plot the course of your life.
Now that you realize negative events happen to everyone, plan on it, accept it, and expect it to happen. Anticipate that when it does, you will work to find a way to overcome, go around or if necessary rebuild. So the next time you find yourself knocked flat on your ass, say to yourself as your rubbing the pain away from your behind, yeah, okay, that hurt. Pick yourself up, survey the situation and plot how to move forward again.
I get it, pursuing your dreams is hard. Don’t expect any meaningful support. Everyone has dreams, but not everyone has the courage to pursue their dreams. Want to know why most people only give lip service support, because you pursuing your dreams remind them that they gave up on theirs.
Hitting The Wall
Seeing you hitting a wall, knocked down, or failing is comforting to the crowd. It’s confirmation that they made the right decision to abandon their dreams and goals. When you separate yourself from the crowd, not joining in after work drinks to pursuing your goals instead, expect the ridicule and derision it will generate. If they're successful you’ll begin to doubt yourself and your goals.
Keep in mind if you find yourself surrounded by these low energy and low motivated people, who surrounded you with low energy low motivated people?
If you want to be an athlete, hang out with athletes. If you want to be a musician, hang out with musicians. A chess player, chess players, a mathematician, mathematicians, a physicist, physicists. You get the recurring theme here? Okay, so who are you hanging out with?
Keep in mind there are people out there who started with less resources than you have now, who are not as intelligent as you are, but are reaching their goals and are crushing it. So why aren’t you?
Don’t wait for a knight in shinning armor to save you, the shine from his armor will probably blind you anyway.
This Realization Is Your Advantage, Use It
This understanding is an advantage. It puts you ahead of the crowd that is looking for external reasons for their plans not working or for failing. My advice is to look inside. Your actions, your decisions and your reactions to the events in life are what you can truly control.
Don’t be afraid of failure. My article “The Upside To Failure” explains why.